Gosh this Sucks

Ok, so as well all know by now....the good 'ole US of A is in a freaking recession. The only issue I have is that I HAVE A MINI CODER ON THE WAY AND CAN NOT PAY MY BILLS!!! This sucks! I have a good steady job, but can not make ends meet. The worse part is that I can not find help. Can't go to the bank and get a loan to consolidate my loans, even a private student loan. I have had so much stress on me that I am drinking again, at least not as much this time, but just enough to let me start relaxing again. I don't want to live at times because I know that my wife would have a lot of money if I wasn't here. I have stopped playing for my church, pawned everything that I have of value, and started to look for a second job. Yes, that would mean that I am working 60 hours+ a week, in school for 40 hours a week, and having to deal with a pregnant woman full-time till March. Not to mention that she is sick, and I have to get her meds, but I only have $8 to last till next friday when I get paid. Getting paid used to be such a joy. I loved it. Now, I dread it. Everytime I get paid, it evaporates into thin air. Of course I am in this situation because of stupid choices I have made, but does my wife and un-born child have to suffer because of me? Why is God letting this happen to me? Why can't I find help from somewhere? Is anyone there to help me, to pick me up when I am down? I have done it for so long to everyone else, I just wish that once someone could help?

Just Shoot Me

So here it is, Tuesday night, and I am sitting in class, and I am bored off my rocker. The professor for this class is a douche bag and a half. I have tried to explain things in an easier fashion then what he is doing, and it is not working!!! I have been bored off my butt the whole class. I can not believe that he is this bad. On top of class sucking majorly, the wife got a call the other day from the doc that the baby is not in the right place. He is a little too low in the tummy. It is a concern of theirs, and if he does not move to the right place, then he will be delivered by c-section. Oh well....at least I still have my brain, for now!!!

This Day Sucks....

So today has started off on the extremely wrong foot. First off, I wake up to find that the country I love, America, is filled with complete idiots. We have elected an non-native born, muslim to run our country. Flame me if you want, but just because he is black doesn't mean that we owe him the election.
The second thing is that a classmate was being a complete jerk to me last night. I was dealing with things, and didn't need someone picking on me all night.
Then this morning, I drive into work because I have to leave early, and get into a freaking accident on the way in. This guy was freakin tailgating me, and rear-ended me. Thankfully there was no damage to my car. His however, has a messed up grill!!! That's what you get for tailgating.
So what is up with all the "African-Americans" cheering "We Won"? Last time I checked two things were wrong with my last statement. First off, 97% of the so-called "African-American" do not hail from Africa. They might be able to go back about 100 generations, and find a relative, but unlike my mom, they did not move here from Africa. Side note: My grandmother was born in South Africa, and lived there most of her life. At the same time, over 99% of my grandmothers family was born and raised in South Africa, while my grandfather is from Ohio!!! That makes my mom a true African-American. The other issue with the first statement is that they didn't run. They were not on the campaign trail with Obama. They didn't do all the work. They voted. How can you win when you vote? The right statement is that the idiot they voted for won, and not they won.

So today has the likelihood of getting better. As I mentioned, I am leaving early. The reason, because I have to take my wife to the doctors. The other good part about that is that we could be going to get the ultrasound, and seeing what the little head is going look like, and what the gender is, and we can finally lay to rest our debate on if its a boy or not. My sister has a Chinese calendar, and she says that according to the calendar, it will be a boy, and the calendar has never failed! We will see, and hopefully soon!!!

WOW!!!

Ok, so the last post was in August. A lot has happened since then....I think! Let's see, the wife changed baby doctors, has to take a glucose tollerance test, I have been having my sugar crash when I play in my band, I am very close to getting some free money from my parents since I will have 60 college credits by Christmas, and a bunch of other things. One thing that has stayed the same is that the wife has started driving me nuts. She is in constant pain, and there is nothing I can do about it. The part that is really bad is that the doctor's don't know what is going on either. Oh, did I mention that she gets upset with me no matter what I do? Like, our heater is not working, and since my parents are the landlords, I told them that it's not working. The wife is now upset because they might come over today to look at it. It has been terribly cold, remember I HATE cold weather, and would like the heater to work right so we don't have to use the space heater. She's upset because she has not done any cleaning in the house in about 3 months. I have done more around the house than she has. Yes, I know that she is pregnant and everything, but come on, can't you take some time out to do something? I work all day...most days. Today, I am bored....I am running update queries all day to update a huge table that I have for a 10 year project. Oh, speaking of being with my company for that long, I have been looking around for a new job, and made the mistake of telling someone, and they went straight to my supervisor and told. Man, I hate people that snitch on people, specially when this person said the same thing that I said....I just didn't go running to their supervisor to tell on them. The company has been going through a huge transition. Mainly getting rid of people that are at or near retirement. Oh well. I have to go for now. Drop me a line if you ever get to read this.
Thanks
P4L

Band Issues

Ok, so many of you don't know that I am a guitarist for my church's praise team. If you are reading this as a friend from then you might want to skip this blog, it's about church and stuff. I have been having the issue since we got into our new building of being able to hear myself play. Well, let me start by say that for the size of the church, we have a HUGE band. We average about 50 to 100 people a week, and a have a praise team of 10 to 15 people, if everyone is there. I play the acoustic guitar, and think that I am ok at it. I am still trying to get better at it though. There are 2 other guitars, one being a 12 string, and the other an electric. Well, the main issue is that the building is smaller than the team. It is so small in fact that I am squished into a side aisle in front of the house speakers. This brings about a really bad situtation. All I hear is whomever is coming out of that side of the speakers. The really bad thing about it is that it is all of the musicians. I think I would say that I start about 50 to 75% of our songs, and play in close to 100% of them all the time. Well, common sense would be that if someone is the lead guitar, you put them in the front, and make sure that they can hear themself. Well, that is not the case here. I very rarely can hear myself because the 12-string guitar is up so loud. Everytime we come in, that guitar gets turned up louder. Oh, and he is the only guitar that I can hear, or at least was till this week, when I could hear the electric really well too. Sad issue is that everyone thinks I am going deaf, and have on more than one occasion said so to my wife. The worse part is that no one will stand where I stand and listen. Oh did I mention that I stand on the same side as the drummer, and bass player? Yup, that's right all musicians on one side of the church, and all the singers on the other, and that includes in the speakers as well. So now you have the issue of the lead guitar not being able to hear where the lead singer is going! Oh this is great!!! And what do I get told? Pretty much to suck it up and deal with it. Well, maybe I got through to the leader, and things will change. If push really comes to shove, I might just sit back, and watch them implode without me there. I'm always getting the leader upset since I've been taking off a lot recently. We will see

Holy Cow....I'm Gonna Be A Dad

Yes world, it is true. I, programming4life, will have a little head here on the earth in about 7 months to continue on in my footsteps of terrorizing the human race! I am still not sure how it happened, all I know is I was there for the event, I think!!! The baby is no bigger than a grain of rice at a whopping 4.6 mm long, and it has a heart rate of 120 bpm! I am a happy guy right now, but still nervous! There are so many things going on right now that I am not sure whether or not I am ready for this. Well, ready or not, here it comes. I am just hopeing for a boy. If it is a girl, watch out world 'cause I'll be armed. Already have plans to get a 9 mm handgun, and maybe a few other pieces to scare the tar out of any guy that wants to date her. Now the biggest arguement that the wife and I are having is about names. I want Michael Alexander if it is a boy, and she wants Joseph Michael. I guess I like exotic, not normal names, but won't be naming my kids like the Hollywood stars do! Once I can get the ultrasound pics off of my phone, I will post them.

Wow, has it been that long?

Ok, so it has been a long time since I last was here. Not by choice, even though I don't think I have any readers, but it is nice to get somethings off my chest. So here we go. Over the last month, the wife and I have really been struggling financially. I mean really struggling. We have currently pawned our wedding rings, and might end up losing them if I can't get the money soon, our digital camera, and my mp3 player, with about a week and a half left till we lose them as well. So I am kinda upset about the money situation. On top of that, I had pawned my guitar, which I use every Sunday at church, but the church paid for me to get it back. Well, now here it is, the weekend before a pay week, there is $10 in hand, nothing in the bank, and no sign of relief anywhere on the Horizon. Well, this is just the tip of the iceberg. The utility company, who just got allowed to start making the rates jump out of control, called, and are wanting money for the services provided. Well, we don't have it, and are looking at having the lights turned off. On top of that, my car insurance has been cancelled, and I am now driving without it. Couldn't pay two months in a row, and we are behind again on the car payment. To top all that off, my parents called, and are going to evict us from out apartment since we are behind, and my wife just announced last week that she is PREGNANT!!!! Yes world, it is time to terrorize you with a miniature version of me.
Now what am I gonna do? No money, possibly no car, or house, working full-time, and a full-time student. I am thinking of a second job, and she is trying to get a job for up till the baby is due. Lord only knows how far along she is. This is about the time that I am to start feeling hopeless right? I mean look around me, all the circumstances are showing me that nothing is going to get better, and that I am going to drowned in debt. Saying all this, I am reminded of what Paul wrote in the Bible, "For whatsoever state I am in, there I will be content!" Content? How am I to be CONTENT? Nothing seems to be going right. And then, I am reminded of another passage of Scripture that says, "I have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging for bread"
Some how, I know that God will provide for He is my Provider. I don't know where it will come from, but I have to do like the song says, "I walk, by Faith, each step by faith, to live, by faith, I'll put my trust in You!" Trusting in Him, it's the hardest thing that I have to do. Writing a program, or query is easy stuff compared to trusting in God. Some people say that it is impossible to trust in something that you can not see. But you don't see the wind do you? No, you see the affects of the wind.
So over everything that is going wrong, I have to trust that God is watching me, and looking out for me to make sure that everthing happens in His timing.